


crazy in love

by coconut_juice_00



Series: Thirteen idiots [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Onesided, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 01:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12546204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconut_juice_00/pseuds/coconut_juice_00
Summary: “I think the real torture is seeing the love of your life together with someone. Seeing him happy and cry because of that someone just added frosting in my fucked up life.” - Choi Hansol





	1. Chapter 1

The thing about graduating and having a job is that even if you get a degree after all those gruesome years of being tortured by professors and subjects, you only get a mediocre job. You get nowhere. All those talks about careers and such? Nah, that’s not true. You don’t need to be smart to get a job. Just be attractive as hell. All the fucking HR’s are biased anyways.

 

Lucky him, he’s attractive as hell. He’s got a job but it’s not paying that much. It’s not decent to retain until he retires but it’s decent enough to pay the rent. That’s what matters. He’s still young, anyways.

 

“Here’s your coffee, Ms. Wang.” Hansol smiles as he places the warm cup of coffee on the table in front of his boss. Said boss smiles before taking a sip. He went on his way afterwards, holding the clip between his arm and side as he checks the extras and casts for the scene on the set.

 

It was his dream to be a scriptwriter in the future. A famous scriptwriter that gets to write a whole series based around his story, good enough to make viewers around the world watch and get hooked on his written episode. He wants it cool and awesome like Stranger Things. Damn, that show on Netflix is a masterpiece. Imagine the bragging rights he got when that happens in real life.

 

But no, that was only nothing but a dream.

 

He’s stuck in being an assistant for five years now and his list of duties and tasks are just running around smiling and bringing his boss some coffee. For short, his main purpose is just to run around and look handsome and pretty for everyone like the eye candy that he is. He even worked hard to get job experiences by working part time jobs and working on call centers. And yet he’s here… unmoving. Stuck in this same thing over and over.

 

He’s not really qualified, to be honest. The HR just saw him as a very attractive person that’s why she hired him.

 

Hansol sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, hiding his annoyance when he hears a few girls giving him flirty waves and giggles when they walked past him. Just when he’s about to go check on with the maintenance, his phone rings in his back pocket. He pulls it out and swipes answer, pressing it against his ear. “Talk to me.”

 

 _“Hansol-ah, me and the others are gonna meet up at Highlight. Wanna tag along? Soonyoung’s treating.”_ Minghao said.

 

“As long as I’m not paying, I’m in.”

 

 

 

 

 

Highlight is like what MacLaren is to the How I met your Mother gang and Central Perk to the Friends gang. It’s where they gather to meet up either it be an important announcement or a meeting. It’s like a home to him, too.

 

When he arrived, the others were already there. He sees Chan trying to flirt with the new bartender but as always he fails. Jihoon is already drunk as he expected because he’s fighting with the DJ about his crappy mixes and he lectures the confused man about how it’s really done. Soonyoung doesn’t seem to notice his little boyfriend’s disappearance and continues his shot game with Jisoo. He looks wasted but Jisoo is smiling while he sips his shot like he sips his tea. Jeonghan cheers for his boyfriend while Seungcheol looks really, really worried at the amount of shots Jisoo already took. Jun is the referee and the one who pours the shots while Seokmin is flat out on the table, passed out.

 

“It’s not even eleven, yet, what the fuck?” Hansol exclaims in disbelief.

 

“You’re late.” Minghao said. He wraps an arm around his shoulder and pressed a bottle of beer against his chest. When he took it, he gives his chest two pats. “We were already here around 8 and Soonyoung proposed a drinking game based on rock paper scissors.” He sighs dramatically. “Jihoon’s sacrifice was honorable.”

 

Said man shouts on the mic. “Let’s get ready to parteeh!”  He slurs. The DJ looked so done with him. Old man Bum, the owner of Highlight, laughs at this. Hell, it’s already normal here for that to happen that everyone just grew used to it.

 

Minghao laughs. “I’m taking pictures to make Mingyu jealous. Their flight got delayed so instead of coming home today, they got pushed back this Sunday.”

 

Hansol winces. “That sucks. We’re going to have to move our surprise then.”

 

“Like we had any choice in the matter.” Hansol laughs at this and takes a swig of his beer.

 

Jihoon isn’t dubbed as a musical genius for nothing. Sober or drunk, he can still produce the best beats. With a flick of his fingers, he made the dance floor vibrate with another original composition. It made the crowd wild, some raising their bottles in the air to cheer as they jumped and danced against the beat of the music. This prompted Jeonghan to pull Jisoo to the dancefloor. Jun and Chan were on it to make the dance floor heat up while Minghao continues to snap pictures. Seokmin remains sleeping.

 

Seungcheol chuckles at the sight. “Is it me or does Jihoon look so hot tonight?”

 

“I know how hot he is. He’s my boyfriend.” Soonyoung is wasted but he looks like he’s holding up just fine. Not **that** drunk… tipsy, he thinks? Either way, he’s still very much aware of how defensive the guy gets whenever Seungcheol talks about Jihoon. He never thought Soonyoung can be capable of feeling jealousy. After all, he does give the “ _I like everyone”_ vibe.

 

The older male is too oblivious for his own good to notice.

 

“Oh, god. This is torture.” Seungcheol sighs. “Why are you all so drunk?” He takes a swig of his beer, just a small one and then he pushes it aside to control himself. He’s going to be in charge of taking the drunk kids home, after all. “I have to drive you all to each one of your places!”

 

“You know what torture is?” Soonyoung raised a finger, puffing his cheeks. “It’s nearing thirty and Jihoon won’t still agree to marry me.” He fights to keep his eyes open, pouting. “I just want to call him mine officially, you know? Have kids and a dog.” He grins. “I love dogs and kids. Mom wants kids and dogs.” He wiggles his fingers. “Yay.”

 

Hansol chuckles and takes another swig.

 

“You don’t know what real torture is.” They’re surprised to hear Seokmin mumble against the table. He lifts his head and scowls. Hansol’s eyes went wide. “It’s that fact that you thought you were gonna get married to this girl only for her to break up with you after eight years of dating. Fucking shit.” He slams his hands against the table and groans. “Fuck my life.”

 

Seungcheol and Hansol clinks their bottles together as a silent sorry for Seokmin’s relationship loss.

 

Hansol was enjoying the story that Soonyoung is telling about their weekend getaway to Cuba last summer when he feels his phone vibrate against his coat pocket. He furrows his brows and pulls it out, feeling his heart stutter just reading the name of caller. Slowly, he slides answer and presses the device against his ear. “Hello?”

 

 _“Hansol, can you please come over?”_ And his tone is small like a mouse trapped in a mouse trap. Hansol doesn’t have the heart to say no… not to this person anyways. So with a gentle voice, he asks where he is, which the latter gave immediately before ending the call.

 

He takes one last swig on his unfinished beer before standing up. Seungcheol raised his brows. “You’re leaving already?”

 

“Yeah, I…” Hansol clamps his eyes shut and sighs. “I think the real torture is seeing the love of your life together with someone. Seeing him happy and cry because of that someone just added frosting in my fucked up life.” He claps the older male’s shoulder. “You all continue the fun.”

 

He hears Soonyoung slurs as he walks away. “I’ll pray for your success in the future!” It made Hansol crack a small smile. Everyone’s been praying for success to him for years. Until now, he still hasn’t made proper progress to everything. And when he did, life struck him in the most painful way that got him crawling back in his little hole of failure.

 

Hansol runs his fingers through his hair after coming out of the bar and a group of girls suddenly start gushing over him. He furrows his brows and immediately hailed a cab to get away.

 

_All of this attention and yet you don’t notice me._

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few walks from where his apartment is, Hansol stopped the cab and paid the driver the exact amount before getting out of the car. Instead of walking towards the apartment, he made a beeline at the other direction, heading to a small park made for the children living in these tall apartment buildings. Upon stepping inside, he immediately sees a figure sitting on top of the jungle gym, staring at nowhere in particular.

 

Hansol cups his hands over his mouth. “Boo Seungkwan!”

 

Seungkwan turns his head to look at him and cracks a smile. Hansol smiles and climbs up the jungle gym. He’s not really a climber and he gets real tired easily but his legs are long and the jungle gym is designed for kids so he easily got at the top next to Seungkwan in a blink of an eye. Seungkwan huffs and looks ahead, humming in amusement. “You’re late.”

 

“I was Highlight.” Hansol answers. “Soonyoung’s treating and I only had one beer. Didn’t even finish it because I answered to your _distress call_.” He huffs when Seungkwan scoffs a laugh. “You weren’t even there! Did you even get Minghao’s call?”

 

Seungkwan releases a long suffering groan. “That’s the problem. I was doing a live radio show when Jaehwan-hyung answered the call meant for me. He thought Minghao was one of my side-guys so we got into this huge argument.” He sighs. “Did Minghao look pissed off tonight or…?”

 

“No, no…” Hansol shakes his head. “He doesn’t look mad when I went there. He seems so chill about it.”

 

Seungkwan groans in his hands. “Because it’s been frequently happening. The first one to call was Chan if ever he’d like to meet us up at Highlight. It was around that time you were busy for a season finale so…” Hansol nods and gestures for him to continue. “But then Jaehwan-hyung answered and he scared off the little guy. Minghao seems to be the only one that can tolerate him. I should really apologize.”

 

Hansol lowly whistles. “This Jaehwan dude seems to be holding you in a tight chokehold.” He looks ahead and sighs only to pause and snap his head to Seungkwan, a brow raised in confusion. “Wait, you said _one of my side-guys_?”

 

“Ah, he’s aware of my dating rendezvous so…” Seungkwan winces. “He even thought you were my side-guy. I told him I’m going to hang out with you when I left the apartment. Jaehwan-hyung got even madder than before.”

 

Hansol throws his head back and laugh. “Probably thinks we’re having sex right now.” Seungkwan playfully pushes him on the shoulder. “What? That is actually the best idea ever. We should make a sex tape and send it over to Jaehwan because he keeps on insisting I’m your side-guy. It could be the greatest plot twist ever.”

 

Seungkwan makes a face but he’s laughing. “Come on, Sol. It’s not gonna work.” He pinches his cheek. “You’re not even my type. It’s going to be a miracle if my dick gets up for you.”

 

 

 

 

 

“OH, HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!”

 

There are people inside Starbucks giving him the death glare but Soonyoung looks too much amused to even pay attention to them. Hansol takes a sip of his Iced Americano and groans. Whilst Minghao looks sympathetic and Jun cringing, Soonyoung looks like he’s having fun listening to Hansol’s misery. “Why are you even here – What the hell are you even doing here? I thought you’re supposed to be teaching dance to kids or something.”

 

Minghao clicks his tongue and sighs. “Currently in his PhD degree and yet he’s teaching dance for a living. Such a waste.”

 

“Hey, Jihoonnie said to follow my dreams.” He points an accusing finger at the two of them. “My Bae knows what I want in my life and I’m living it.”

 

“Perks of being rich.” Jun snickers. He gets a loud smack on the arm by Soonyoung. “I’m gonna get you some cheesecake.” He raised his brows, smiling. “You two want some, too?” Hansol waves in dismissal but Soonyoung said he likes the cookies and cream cake one. Jun nods at this, kisses Minghao on the cheek and went to the counter.

 

“You’re lucky one son of a bitch.” Soonyoung mutters to Minghao. “You don’t deserve Jun. He’s an angel.”

 

Minghao frowns. “He’s actually too vanilla for me.”

 

“What’s wrong with vanilla? I think vanilla’s great.” Soonyoung frowns. “I do vanilla and Jihoon loves it but whenever he tops he’s all rough on me. It was great during the sex but the aftermath hurts like hell.”

 

“Ah, I envy you.” Minghao leans his head against his knuckles. “I bet Jihoon looks hot whenever he tops.”

 

“I know how hot he is.” Soonyoung stares at Minghao with _that_ look again. That same look he gave Seungcheol that night at Highlight. “He’s my boyfriend.” It looks like it’s not just Seungcheol. It can be anyone. Soonyoung is possessive as hell.

 

“Stop it with the sex talk,” Hansol groans. “My dick and I does not deserve this discrimination.”

 

Minghao tears his attention away from Soonyoung and snaps his fingers. “Oh, right! Then what happened afterwards? Isn’t there like a confrontation or something? Surely you finally confessed, right? I mean, since the topic of sex is opened up.” He raised his brow, waiting for the dramatic story Hansol’s going to say. Soonyoung sips on his pumpkin spice latte, waiting eagerly for the climax.

 

“Nothing.” Hansol shrugs. “We ate jajangmyeon afterwards since Seungkwan hasn’t had dinner.”

 

 A collection of groans and whines came from Minghao and Soonyoung. “You didn’t ate him out but ate jajangmyeon instead? What a loser.” The blonde said earning another glare from the customers. And as always, Soonyoung didn’t notice. When Jun came back on their seat holding a tray of cake, Minghao wraps his arms around the man’s neck and kisses his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re not like Hansol.”

 

Jun looks at Hansol in confusion and just smiles apologetically.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seungkwan and Hansol go way back.

 

They’ve been best friends since middle school. Always attached to the hip, Seungkwan and Hansol are always together. You wouldn’t see them apart for a long time not when they know they’re in the same room. And if you could see them, woah boy. There’s always room for skin ships. Holding hands, back hugging, head comfortably resting on the other’s shoulder or lap, even kissing each other on the cheek. They do it all the time that some people thought they were dating.

 

But as they grow up, skin skips ceased because the two of them explore into different relationships. Hansol got a girlfriend in his first year of college while Seungkwan started dating around his junior year. They started seeing other people, hanging around different people and yet they still find themselves like two pieces of a puzzle that fits together perfectly. Old habits seems to die and because of that, their own relationships ended as fast as they come.

 

It’s just unfortunate for Hansol to fall in love with his best friend at the wrong moment in time. Hell, he thinks he’s been in love with Seungkwan for a long time. It’s just that he realized he is when he saw Seungkwan making out with his then boyfriend, Wonho.

 

Seungkwan had looked pliant then… soft and very, very pretty especially with his lips swollen and eyes glassy with something that isn’t innocence. Hansol had felt something ugly and dark in him because he hates seeing someone else doing that to Seungkwan. He has been used to seeing Seungkwan only look at him that seeing him looking like _that_ to his boyfriend irritates him.

 

It became ugly between him and Wonho then that Hansol decided when Seungkwan gets in another relationship, he won’t bother meeting him anymore.

 

Hansol is a calm and collected person. Others have been referring to him as Jack Frost because of his looks, his hair and his coldness to the people around him. But when it comes to Seungkwan, there were no such things as calm and collected nor being chill. Hansol is a completely different person and it scares him that he didn’t know such emotions exists in him.

 

He loves Seungkwan. He’s **in love** with him.

 

 It’s just unfortunate that Seungkwan doesn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon turns off the radio much to Hansol’s annoyance. He reaches out to open it but Jihoon glares. “You’re in my territory brat, don’t.” Hansol curls his lower lip and pouts, begging but Jihoon was having none of it. He thought he’d soften up after getting together with Soonyoung through the years. Guess some things never change.

 

“So I finished the demo last week but I decided to change a few things so I didn’t send it until today.” Jihoon said. His fingers drums over the keyboard before hitting enter. The loading box appears, processing the demo before it plays. “And I was hoping for you to listen to it first before I send it.”

 

“There’s a reason why they immediately accepted when I recommended your name to the production crew, you know.” Hansol grins. “Even without my opinion, I think this soundtrack for the series would be perfect.”

 

Jihoon scoffs a laugh but he’s smiling. “Quit doing that or else my head will get bigger.” Hansol hums and leans his chin on his arm as he places it on Jihoon’s work table. “And I know you’re only doing this to get on my good side because you want to use my radio.”

 

“Seungkwan’s live today and your radio is so good.”

 

“You two are very frustrating.” But Jihoon turns the radio anyway just to please the younger. Hansol gives his arm a squeeze as silent thanks. Seungkwan’s voice echoes in the studio talking with guest star, Jung Hoseok. His lively and enthusiastic voice brought a smile on his face that he couldn’t help laughing along whenever he laughs. Jihoon gives him a judging look.

 

“You’re whipped.”

 

“I am.” There’s no room for denial.

 

“And you’re hopeless.” Jihoon flicks his forehead sending him into a sitting position. The smaller pushes himself against the table, the swivel chair going to the other side of the table. Hansol makes a face. “When will it take for you to man up and confess?” He hums as he takes his folder of compositions from his keyboard. “What will happen to you when Seungkwan finally found the man of his dreams? Or maybe when he found his future bearer of children?”

 

The thought made Hansol freeze.

 

He hasn’t thought of that nor did it ever crossed his mind not until Jihoon had said it. Hansol bites his lower lip. The thought of Seungkwan with a wife and kids or with a husband that isn’t him made his mind swirl in the darkest pit. He’s been complacent over the cycle of Seungkwan dating and break up over and over with different people that he thought it wouldn’t stop. He feels complacent – he’s a fool for even thinking that.

 

“Stop being a coward.” Jihoon said, breaking his thoughts. Then he smiles. “Trust me, it’s going to be fine.”

 

It’s not going to be fine, Hansol thinks, because his situation with Seungkwan is a lot more complicated than what Jihoon had went through. But he’s going to take Jihoon’s advice and be brave for once.

 

He’ll just have to wait for an opening.

 

 

 

 

 

In celebration for the release of Jihoon’s originally composed soundtrack, Soonyoung got the whole gang together at Highlight to celebrate after treating them all on bulgogi for dinner. And Soonyoung really looks so prepared, opening his wallet filled with wads of cash. _Nothing but the best for my Jihoonnie_ , he said.

 

“You know what else we’re celebrating?” Soonyoung lifts his beer bottle and shouts. “Jihoon’s soundtrack is number one on iTunes! Woooooooooo!”  His voice had been so loud that all of the people in the bar started cheering for this “Jihoon” guy. Said male just tugs Soonyoung on his sleeve while telling his boyfriend to quit it and shut up.

 

Hansol chuckles quietly at their booth, tilting his bottle up in his mouth and relishes the bitter taste of alcohol down his throat. All of them are present for the first time after Mingyu and Wonwoo arrived from their honeymoon. The party was in full swing although the DJ was absent for the night. That didn’t stop them from messing around and having fun. Hansol looks around the dark room and frowns. Well, almost everyone from the gang is here.

 

He raised his brow when he feels someone sitting beside him on the booth. “Oh?” He grins. “You’re late.”

 

Seungkwan pants heavily beside him. He looks frazzled and shaken up and he’s sweating all over. Hansol furrows his brows in worry and offers his beer bottle for the other to take. Seungkwan sees this and accepts with a small smile, but he doesn’t drink it. He only wraps his fingers around the green bottle to cool his fingers. Hansol places his hand on his arm.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

Seungkwan forces a smile to assure him that everything’s okay but it came out as a grimace. And to avoid the subject, he clicks his tongue and lowly whistles. “Hey, look. Isn’t that Jihoon? It’s been a while since I saw him.” Jihoon who is chatting with Jisoo and Jeonghan with a smile, his body fitted snuggly in a white button up shirt. “He looks hot tonight.”

 

“I know how hot he is.” They both jolted when they hear Soonyoung behind them. “He’s my boyfriend.” Soonyoung gave them _that_ look before approaching said boyfriend. Seungkwan blinks.

 

“What’s his problem?”

 

“Hey,” Hansol squeezes his arm to get his attention. Seungkwan turns his head so that they’re face to face, eyes meeting in locked gazes. The proximity between their faces is so close, it made Hansol’s heart skip. Nevertheless, he keeps his worried gaze. “Seungkwan, tell me. What’s wrong?”

 

Seungkwan playfully pushes him away. “Stop being serious, Sol-ah.” He laughs. “There’s nothing wrong.”

 

“Seungkwan.”

 

At this, the brunette’s façade broke. Even from the dim lighting, he can see Seungkwan’s glassy eyes and how his lips wobble as he tries to talk. Hansol shifts in his seat and moves his other hand on Seungkwan’s back, giving it gentle rubs. “Seungkwan, hey. I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about it anymore if –“

 

“Jaehwan-hyung and I broke up today.” Seungkwan drags his teeth from his lower lip and takes a deep breath, sighing heavily. “He wouldn’t want me to come here to celebrate with you guys and I told him he’s being stupid. We got in a – we got in a huge fight and then… we just… I just…” He waves his hand away. “Ah, it’s over.”

 

For some people, they might have celebrated over this but for Hansol, it was the opposite. Because even if he’s happy about Seungkwan being single again, the pain that the other is experiencing right now is enough to make him feel bad about being happy. A tear fell down on Seungkwan’s eyes and he immediately wiped it off. Hansol frowns. He doesn’t like seeing him cry.

 

Hansol looks around the bar and sees that everyone looks so occupied to even notice them gone so he tugs Seungkwan by the wrist and grins. “Do you want to get out of here?”

 

Seungkwan sniffles. “Huh?”

 

“Let’s get you some pizza and ice cream.” Hansol said. “Then while we’re at it, let’s go watch a movie of your choice. I think drinking after a break-up only leads to bad choices.” He raised his brows, smiling. “What do you say?”

 

Seungkwan looks at him for a moment, his expression unreadable before breaking out into full blown smile. “Yeah.” He whispers. “That would be great, Hansol-ah.” He lets Hansol help him up his seat and together, they sneak out of the bar, letting their hands fall into place and intertwining their fingers.

 

But on the way, Hansol sees Soonyoung giving him that _knowing_ grin from the bar counter. Seungkwan turns to look at him and frowns. “What’s the hold up?”

 

“Nothing. Let’s just go.” Hansol turns Seungkwan so he’s in front and pushes him towards the exit then makes a face at Soonyoung’s direction before giving him the finger. 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh, fuck.” Seungkwan forcibly swallows the ice cream in his mouth due to shock. “Shit, hide you idiot!” The girl on the TV started to run but her legs are paralyzed from polio so she resorted to crawling instead. The demon who wanted to possess her comes in faster and all Seungkwan can do is clutch on to Hansol’s arm while he shouts for the girl to run.

 

Hansol’s too amused to even pay attention to the movie. “You do know she can’t run, right?”

 

“Just get away!”

 

He throws his head back and laughs.

 

\--

 

To clear out bad dreams, they started watching Frozen.

 

Seungkwan leans over to his side while he finishes the last slice of pizza that Hansol lets him have while he finishes eating the cheese flavored ice cream that Seungkwan couldn’t eat. There are cans of coke littered around them and empty boxes of pizza and they know they should clean it all up but they’re too lazy to do it. Maybe later, he thinks, when Seungkwan is asleep.

 

“Sol?”

 

Hansol turns. “Hmm?”

 

Seungkwan takes his arm and wraps it around his head. Hansol lets him and rests his hand on the other’s chest. “Is there something in me that’s less desirable?” He whispers. “Because the people I’ve been with always leaves me.” He pulls his arm closer until he can feel the other’s lips touching his skin. “They probably saw me as problematic. They’re just too nice to say it to me right in the face.”

 

“You’re not problematic.” Hansol scoffs a laugh. “If there’s anyone that’s problematic, it’s them. I mean, come on. Why would they leave you? It’s their loss not yours, you know. It’s their fault for not seeing your worth so stop sulking and smile.” When he sees Seungkwan with that sad look, he pinches the man’s nose making him whine.

 

“Don’t let little stupid things break your happiness.”

 

Seungkwan smiles at this, finally, and looks up at him. He’s already laying his head down on his lap. “You’re the best, Hansol.” And Hansol grins because Seungkwan looks so vulnerable and open now. But at the same time, he’s comfortable as if he knows Hansol won’t do anything to hurt him. He leans down and cups the man’s face, thumbing his cheek.

 

“You really need to stop looking the other way, Seungkwan.”

 

Before he could answer, Hansol leans down fully and presses his lips against his – a soft and gentle peck enough for the other to know what his intentions are. Seungkwan is frozen, his lips pursed and his eyes wide in surprise. 

 

Hansol’s heart stopped – if ever that’s possible – because he couldn’t believe he just did that. He blames this on the three bottles of Heineken he finished earlier back at Highlight. He licks his lips, totally a weird move, and just stares back at Seungkwan. He can feel his heart palpitating, his body sweating – fuck, he’s close to hyperventilating. Seungkwan just got out of a relationship and he just did that. When he thought of going for it when an opening comes, he didn’t think it would be this soon!

 

His eyes flit down on Seungkwan’s lips. Fuck you and your kissable-ness.

 

But Seungkwan sits up and looks at him, dead in the eye and proximity close to none. Hansol’s breath hitches. “Seungkwan, I –“

 

He captures his lower lip that got Hansol reeling back. It’s surprisingly soft… and cold and it tastes like peperoni and tomato sauce from the pizza. It’s not the first kiss with Seungkwan that Hansol had daydreamed over and over but hell, he’s kissing him. He’s kissing Seungkwan and that’s all that matters. It took him a minute to register everything that’s happening before pulling Seungkwan by the torso and deepening their kiss.

 

Seungkwan is pliant and very aggressive. He’s handsy and very eager to kiss back and he makes these small noises at the back of his throat whenever they would pull away for a breather. Hansol couldn’t help the growl that comes out because of this. He turns them around so Seungkwan’s pressed against the sofa. Seungkwan sighs against his mouth when they kissed again and it made him smile.

 

Hansol’s fingers work quickly on Seungkwan’s button shirt and when he got it out in the open, he stills.

 

Seungkwan stops mouthing his jaw and looks down before staring at Hansol. His chest falls and rises as he pants heavily. “What?”

 

“You’re wearing it.” He breathes, taking the locket in his hand that’s pressed against Seungkwan’s bare chest. Seungkwan blinks rapidly and looks down, smiling. “I haven’t see it with that you that I thought you didn’t like it.”  

 

“Never left home without it.” He answers, wrapping his arm around Hansol’s neck. Softly he thumbs his nape, making those circle motions that Hansol loves so much. “When I said I love it, I wasn’t lying, Hansol.” Then he pulls him down for a slow and languid and kiss which he eagerly accepts.

 

Hansol drowns in the sounds of Seungkwan and pleasure, forgetting the movie playing in the background.

 

 

 

 

 

When Hansol wakes up, he’s on the bed and he’s alone. The other side of the bed is neat and there are no signs of Seungkwan’s clothes lying on the floor. He groggily sits up and checks his phone or the lamp – no messages attached or received.

 

After showering and wearing fresh clothes, he half-expected Seungkwan to be in the kitchen or in the living room chilling but no, he’s not. But the living room is clean from all the trash, looking like they didn’t hang out all evening watching movies and eating pizzas and ice cream. Hansol pulls out his phone from the pocket of his sweat pants and types in a message.

 

_You home already?_

 

He tosses the phone on the couch and waits for a reply. Seungkwan probably resumed sleeping. It’s the weekend after all. And Saturdays are Seungkwan’s off days along with Tuesday since he has radio shows on Sundays. He’s probably doing something, Hansol thinks. He’s going to reply any minute now, he just hasn’t read it yet.

 

But Seungkwan hasn’t.

 

And it’s been two weeks now.

 

Hansol stops checking on his phone on the start of the third week and turns off his phone to start on making Ms. Wang’s coffee for the morning.

 

He pretends he’s not affected by it.

 

 

 

 

 

“Score!” Seokmin shouts after the ball shoots through the hoop. Mingyu laughs and runs to take the ball.

 

Seungcheol proposed a basketball game that Sunday after he’s left home alone. Jisoo and Jeonghan were at the US visiting the former’s parents. When asked why he didn’t come, Seungcheol doesn’t respond and quickly changes the subject. Soonyoung was supposed to come but Jihoon’s parents decided to surprise visit so he’s out. Jun and Minghao were busy moving in to their new apartment while Chan has a meet up with some of his high school friends.

 

Mingyu throws his hands up in the air in surrender. “Why do you still have so much energy?” He turns at the benches. “Hyung, you sure you don’t want to play?”

 

Wonwoo waves his hands in dismissal, too busy watching ‘While you were Sleeping’ in his phone. Seungcheol laughs. “You still call your husband hyung?”

 

“He likes it whenever I call him that.”

 

Seokmin cackles and prepares his defensive stance while Hansol prepares to take offense. But his mind was so out of it that he always fails to catch the balls thrown at him. Mingyu can only look in despair as Seokmin scored another and another. Usually, it wasn’t an easy task to defeat the Mingsol duo, but with Hansol acting like his soul left him, it was a lost cause.

 

“What’s wrong with you, man?” Mingyu approaches him but Hansol waves him off and walks away.

 

Seokmin and Mingyu shared a glance. Seungcheol sighs and claps both of their shoulders. “I got this.” Then he jogs after Hansol. “Hansol-ah.” He grabs him by the shoulder and Hansol would have snapped at him if he knew it wasn’t Seungcheol. So the platinum haired male lets him hook his arm around him and pulls him close despite their sweaty bodies. “What’s up, bud?”

 

“Seungcheol-hyung, it’s fine. You can leave now.”

 

“Hey, don’t call me hyung.” Seungcheol makes a face. He’s the oldest of the bunch but detests it whenever he hears that. He said whenever he’s called hyung he feels like another year has been put on him. “Hansol, you’re acting weird. Did something happened?” He frowns. “Maybe at work? Did someone piss you off again?” When Hansol didn’t respond, he sighs. “Is it Seungkwan?”

 

Hansol stiffens, but he immediately regains his composure. “No.” He scoffs a laugh. “Why would it be him?” If he’s going to look back, he feels ashamed for acting like a kid throwing a tantrum at Seungcheol. But right now, his head is a muddled mess, he couldn’t think straight. Hansol runs his fingers through his hair, thinking that he should go and apologize for his behavior when suddenly, he feels his phone vibrate.

 

It seems like Seungcheol got a message too because he’s pulling out his phone. He furrows his brows and then frowns. “Hansol, you should read this.”

 

He immediately pulled out his phone from his pocket, his eyes wide when he reads it’s from Seungkwan.

 

It was an invitation for a picnic this Saturday. Seungkwan invited all of them for a picnic lunch this Saturday to formally meet Jaehwan. Hansol’s chest clenches in the most painful way. They’re going to meet Jaehwan – the same Jaehwan that Seungkwan broke up with a few nights ago. Hansol grips his phone tight and swallows hard.

 

Seungcheol seems to have noticed his distress. “Are you going to come? I… It’s okay if you don’t want to come.”

 

The pain was too much to bear but if Seungkwan is going to act like what they did last night never happened then he’s going to act like it, too. He’s not going to act like that night gave him hope to his foolish heart that maybe Seungkwan and he will finally get together after all those fucking years of pining. No, Hansol’s going to show Seungkwan that he’s fine. He’s going to show him that what they did that night is nothing special.

 

“Of course, I will.” Hansol’s voice turned eerily cold and it has Seungcheol raising a brow. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.”

 

 

 

 

 

The tension is so thick at first meeting.

 

Chan still remembers the man who spouted a string of curse words over the phone at him and Minghao is very, very familiar with how Jaehwan is. Jeonghan looks doubtful of the man, being the overprotective self-proclaimed mom of Chan while Jun is annoyed because well, Minghao is annoyed at the man. Jisoo is very civil and is the first one to greet him normally. Seungcheol followed suit, copying his boyfriend’s actions. Mingyu offered a hand shake, which Jaehwan accepts with a smile while Wonwoo greets him like a dongsaeng would to a hyung. Soonyoung is very friendly with him and greeted him the brightest smiles.

 

“Hey, you’re Lee Jihoon, right?” Jaehwan offers a hand to Jihoon, which he accepted and shakes twice. “You worked with J-Entertainment for a month to work with Park Jimin’s solo album. I remember you coming in with Min Yoongi. You two were great.”

 

“Ah, it was nothing.” Jihoon bashfully answers. He always gets shy whenever the topic is always about his works and compositions. “It’s mostly Yoongi-sunbaenim working alongside Park Jimin and I’m just there to learn.”

 

“No, I heard Min Yoongi say that you helped with the majority of the lyrics with this one song and he absolutely loved it. The production said they’re thinking of making it the title track of the album.”

 

“Seriously?” Jihoon is in awe at this. And the emotions were too much to even notice Soonyoung’s glare from behind. “Wow.”

 

Jaehwan smiles. “Yes, it’s true. I know this because I’m actually one of the producers there.” He winks. Jihoon raised his brows and laughs. “Anyways, that’s Gucci, right?” He points at the red coat Jihoon is wearing. “It’s hella expensive since I recognize it as one of the latest release. You look –“

 

“I know how hot he is.” Soonyoung interrupts their conversation, his arms wraps possessively around his boyfriend’s shoulders. He’s giving _that_ look again.  “He’s my boyfriend.” Then he drags him away, leaving Jaehwan standing there, confused.

 

~~Soonyoung is very friendly with him and greeted him the brightest smiles.~~

Soonyoung hates him – he absolutely despises Lee Jaehwan.

 

Everyone has mixed feelings in meeting Jaehwan. Sure he’s good looking – like super, duper handsome no kidding. He looks like a super model with gorgeous eyes and a sharp jawline – but their first impression on him via phone isn’t that appealing. Hell, Chan is still scared of him.

 

But like the veil has been lifted, everyone suddenly became more open to him when Seungkwan came back after properly parking the car. To be honest, they’re just here for Seungkwan not for Jaehwan.

 

Hansol was the last one to greet them. He timed it the moment Seungkwan came back just for him to prove his point that he’s completely nonchalant about everything. With chin slightly up, he approaches the duo and flashes a laidback grin. “Hey.”

 

Seungkwan stiffens but regains his composure in a matter of seconds. “Hansol, hey. You’re here.” He blindly reaches for his boyfriend’s arm. “You know Jaehwan-hyung, right?” Seungkwan’s voice is pitchy, meaning he’s nervous. To be honest, Hansol is too. He’s afraid his façade might crack in front of Seungkwan.

 

“Yeah.” He drawls. “You’ve talked to me about him a lot of times.” He smiles. “It’s great to finally meet you in person, Jaehwan-sshi.”

 

Jaehwan stares at him before reaching a hand out for him to shake. “Likewise.”

 

Hansol accepts it and shook it twice.

 

\--

 

Jaehwan turns out to be a really nice guy. Well that’s what Chan said after he got top class quality meat to be grilled and three bottles of wine for all of them to share. It’s a 15 year old one, too, and Jisoo and Jeonghan absolutely loved it.

 

Seungkwan never left Jaehwan’s side the whole time. They were always together, laughing, talking about something with their other friends and doing all those couple things. Hansol couldn’t help but stare at them even from a distance. He had secretly hoped they would talk today. Turns out it wasn’t that easy after all, not when Jaehwan also follows Seungkwan around wherever he is. There were times when their eyes meet, but as Hansol likes to hold it, Seungkwan breaks the contact first.

 

“If looks could kill, they might have died on the spot.”

 

Hansol turns to look at Jun, who’s holding a plate of sandwiches. He gives the man two claps on the back before making his way back to where his boyfriend is, listening to Soonyoung about the dance recital his students are going to take part in. He wouldn’t have noticed what he was doing not until Jun told him that. Hansol slightly feels embarrassed and exposed but somehow he couldn’t help it. Even when he’s playing Frisbee with the others, his eyes always flits back to the couple from afar.

 

\--

 

When it was time to pack up, a collective of groans were though Hansol knew that they were just acting. It’s very obvious how others are very eager to leave but just stayed for Seungkwan. Jihoon offers to help with taking the things back at Jaehwan’s trunk but Soonyoung is against this (his pout seems to be always effective on Jihoon) so he doesn’t. Nobody seems to want to so by in the end, it was Mingyu and Hansol.

 

Mingyu lowly whistles at the sight. “Damn, that’s a nice ride. Toyota?” He places the cooler down while Jaehwan opens the trunk. “One of the turbo models, perhaps?”

 

“Yeah, got a great deal for it, too. I spent two years paying for this baby.” Jaehwan chuckles. There’s a hint of pride in there and it irked Hansol because it’s like he’s bragging. It’s a good thing Mingyu’s oblivious for his own good to even notice. He’s like Soonyoung, too friendly and happy to everyone. Jaehwan takes the cooler and when he finds it unfit at the back, he opens the back door and places it there. “What about you?”

 

“Camaro.” Mingyu points at the matte black sports car at the opposite side of the driveway. “My husband wants a Lambo, but I like them vintage.” He grins, oblivious once again at the surprised look on Jaehwan’s face. Hansol bites his lower lip to stop the laugh from coming. He points at his back. “I should get the grill.” He gives Hansol a clap on the back before jogging back to their spot…

 

…leaving him with Jaehwan.

 

Hansol bends down to pick another cooler wordlessly, not wanting to socialize with the man when suddenly, he closes the trunk before Hansol could even place it there. He frowns. “I know about you and Seungkwan.”

 

Hansol blinks. “We’re best friends. But unless that’s not it…then,” The cooler is heavy in his arms but he made no move to put it back down. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Jaehwan scoffs a laugh. “I mean, the marks you left are really clever. He wouldn’t have noticed it if I didn’t tell him about it. He said it was a bug bite but I knew it wasn’t. He just said he came back from your place after all.” He raised his brows. “It’s easy to put two and two together. I’m not dumb.”

 

Hansol sets his lips in a firm line. He can feel his heart beat erratically in anger but he forces himself to calm down and act nonchalant. He knows what Jaehwan is doing and he’s not gonna win. He refuses to let him see Hansol break down and blow a fuse. He furrows his brows and chuckles. “Like I said, Jaehwan-sshi. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Jaehwan laughs. “Looks like you’re going to deny everything even if it’s all out in the open.” He sighs. “Then let me tell you this instead, boy.” At this, Hansol frowns. “I’m the guy he marries, Hansol.” He said. “You’re the guy he fucks with when he’s lonely and depressed.” He folds his arms against his chest and raised a brow. “In other words, you’re just his rebound while I’m the real deal. Get it in through your thick stupid head.”

 

That seems to have done it for Hansol. Fuck, self-control. He wants to land a punch on that smug looking –

 

“Hey,” Mingyu walks over with a jolly smile, holding the grill with his two big arms. “Sorry, I’m late. I got hold up there.” He looks between Jaehwan and Hansol. “So what did I miss?”

 

“Not much.” Jaehwan grins and approaches to help him. “That sure looks heavy.”

 

“Nah, it wasn’t.” Mingyu laughs.

 

Hansol doesn’t know if he should thank his friend for interrupting or not because he still has the urge to punch the guy’s face. But as soon as he cooled down, he gives Mingyu’s back a clap and a gentle rub on the shoulder as silent thanks as they make their way back to their friends. Seungkwan is still talking to Jisoo and Jeonghan but there was a fraction of a moment there when their eyes met.  

 

Hansol’s the first one to break the contact this time.

 

 

 

 

 

“You should have still punched him. I would and I’d do it with no mercy.”

 

“Cheollie, that’s not nice.” Jeonghan blew a puff of smoke from his cigarette and smiles. “You should have kicked him in the balls.” Jisoo shakes his head at this and sighs. He’s currently reading the script that Hansol made a few weeks prior to review. As a book editor, Jisoo’s opinion is really required. Hansol doesn’t have the courage to pass this to his boss but if Jisoo backed him up with good results then maybe there’s a big chance this might work.

 

Jisoo looks up from the script. “You do know violence isn’t always the answer.” Jihoon is beside Jisoo making a few comments about the script, while the latter scribbles something on the paper probably making a few comments and deleting something that’s not good in the scene.

 

“But he’s just so irritating, Soo.” Seungcheol clenches his hands into a fist. “If I were him, I’d –“ When Jisoo raised a brow, he sighs. “Walk away and ignore him.” The older of the bunch drawls. Jisoo seems to be satisfied with his answer, resuming on reading.

 

“But to be honest, I’m kind of pissed off at what Seungkwan did.” Jeonghan crushed his unfinished cigarette on the ashtray. “He gave you no explanation and just upped and left. That’s not a good thing.” He raised a brow. “He still hasn’t contacted you, yet?”

 

“Other than the invitation to last week’s picnic, then no.” Hansol shakes his head. He tries not to get attached to his phone anymore after that. He doesn’t want to be a fool waiting for something that’s not gonna come. “I just thought we had something… after that night because it seems like it. Or maybe…I’m just the one who thought that we had something.”

 

“Then why don’t you just drop him?”

 

Everyone seems so surprised at Soonyoung’s answer. He’s been unusually quiet the whole time, only eating the pie that Jisoo made earlier and listening to everyone’s conversation. Even Jihoon and Jisoo were snapped out of their reverie at his answer. Hansol furrows his brows. “Excuse me?”

 

“If Seungkwan is your best friend, then he’s awfully doing a poor job at being it.” Soonyoung continues. “If he’s really your friend, then he should have properly explain what happened between you two to clear things up not avoid you and drag the problem any longer.” He points a finger at him. “I wouldn’t punch Jaehwan. If it was me, I’d give up on Seungkwan.”

 

“Yah, Kwon Soonyoung!” Jihoon puts his boyfriend in chokehold that got said male shrieking. “You shouldn’t have said that!”

 

It was like a splash of cold water on Hansol’s face. It was like all his life he has been sleeping only to be rudely awaken by Soonyoung’s words. Because looking back at everything, it seems like the people around him are just looking at him in pity every time Seungkwan comes to let them meet his new boyfriend or girlfriend. It sucks because it’s like he’s suffering in the same cycle over and over where he’s given false hopes and then watching it crushed down in a week or two.

 

 “Oh, fuck. I think you broke the kid, Soonyoung.” Seungcheol stares at Hansol’s unblinking face. This only prompted Jihoon to tighten his chokehold on his boyfriend.

 

A purple faced Soonyoung rasps. “H-Help.”

 

\--

 

Before leaving, Jisoo handed the script back at Hansol. “The storyline is great, Hansol, but I might warn you that possibilities of the producers not liking it is high since the story is too depressing.” He said. “There was hope building at the start towards the middle but then at the end, you crushed that down immediately. I think viewers won’t like it.”

 

Hansol looks at him, confused. “But I thought people like tragedies? You handled an author that wrote tragic stories once, right? And it became a huge hit.”

 

“It’s in books, Hansol.” Jisoo chuckles. “There’s a difference between books and movies. That’s the reason why some people don’t like it when their favorite book is adapted into a movie or a series.” He releases a heavy sigh when Hansol looks down on his script with a frown. “Look, I’m not saying that your work isn’t good. Like I said earlier, the storyline is great.”

 

“But?”

 

“It’s too depressing.” Jisoo answers. “If you wanted to write a tragedy, make it a beautiful one. Yours is just flat depressing. Even Jihoon said that, too, and he’s not a fan of movies.”

 

“Okay,” Hansol nods in understanding. “I’ll try to read all the revisions you made tonight and try to change it. Thanks for everything, hyung.” Jisoo smiles at this and nods. “I’ll send you a message if there’s anything I didn’t understand.” He turns around to leave but Jisoo calls his name before he could. He cranes his neck to look at him, brows raised, waiting for what he’s about to say.

 

“Before you rewrite that script, talk to Seungkwan.” He said. “I know you’re mad at what he did but he’s also human. And humans are prone on making mistakes, Hansol. Give him another chance to explain and see what’s going to happen after that.”

 

Hansol frowns. “What’s even the connection with that in writing this script?”

 

Jisoo tilts his head and smiles. “I see a lot of the main character in you, Hansol. And that man’s end is living in a life full of despair and sadness. Do you really want to end up like that?”

 

And Hansol thinks that no, he doesn’t want to, but he wrote that script remembering the times when he had failed in life and was dragged down on the ground. He couldn’t help if the story was too depressing considering at that time, he lost all hope remaining in him. There’s a part of him that doesn’t want to see Seungkwan again, but the remaining part of him is a huge amount of fraction compared to the latter. Seungkwan had been a part of his for so long that seeing a tomorrow without him is meaningless.

 

He doesn’t hold a promise to talk to Seungkwan but he smiles at Jisoo and nods. “I’ll see you next time, hyung.”

 

 

 

 

 

Hansol sits there at the lobby of the radio station that Seungkwan’s working at, waiting for him. Chances of running into Jaehwan is high at this point since the guy’s probably monitoring Seungkwan 24/7 after his _suspicions_ were semi-confirmed from last picnic. Fortunately, it was only Seungkwan.

 

Seungkwan stops frozen on his way to the time out machine, his satchel hanging heavily on his shoulder. He’s wearing a black dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up on his elbows and it’s tucked in his blue jeans. The older of the two is always on point when it comes to dressing up. He remembers the other chastising him for being a fashion disaster so there was a point in life where Hansol copies whatever Seungkwan is wearing only in different color.

 

Hansol takes a deep breath and stands up.

 

\--

 

“Where’s Jaehwan?”

 

“Oh?” Seungkwan looks up at him before looking down again. He looks nervous, his hands trembling inside his jacket pocket. “Oh, he’s doing overtime at work. There’s this new girl group that’s going to debut this year and they’re busy with the mini-album.” Hansol hums and nods.

 

This is the first time they’ve been like this so uncomfortable with each other’s presence. Seungkwan keeps on fidgeting with his fingers and looking around except Hansol’s direction. Hansol is fucking restless. Their friends keep on telling him to talk and fix their shit together but this is harder than it looks like. Because the line in their friendship is crossed and walked up on, there’s no going back to the same old Hansol and Seungkwan.

 

“When did you and Jaehwan get back together?”

 

Seungkwan visible swallows hard. “Uh… the next morning after we broke up. He… He apologized for lashing out like that. Said that he didn’t mean what he said and we made up.”

 

“So that night was –“

 

“Nothing.” He stiffens when Seungkwan immediately cuts him off, as if he’s eager to finish the conversation and get it over with. “It was an accident. We were both too overwhelmed with the sudden emotions that we did that. And it’s okay, we can… we can forget about it. Don’t worry.” He waves away in dismissal.

 

It was the answer that Hansol needed.

 

When they arrived at Seungkwan’s car, Seungkwan turns to look at him with a small smile. “Do you want me to drive you home?”

 

Hansol shakes his head. “Nah,” He grins. “I’m good.”

 

He watches Seungkwan get on his car, Hansol giving it a soft push close, the grin never leaving his face. “Are you sure?” Seungkwan had ask one last time but was shot down with Hansol’s words of assurance that he’s fine. “Okay,” He looks down momentarily before back at him. Now that everything was clear, Seungkwan is clear of nervousness. “I’ll call you later then.”

 

“I’ll wait for it.” Hansol waves.

 

He took a step back as Seungkwan steps on the gas and drives away from where he is. Hansol watches, the grin still plastered on his face. But as Seungkwan’s car drives further away, the grin on Hansol’s face slowly fades. He feels himself wallow in despair, his lips trembling and his breathing turning into hiccups. He shakily takes his phone and dials number on speed-dial. He calls the person he trusts the most – the person that he has no problem opening up to.

 

Hansol bites his lower lip, tasting the salty tears that falls down his cheeks.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

“S-Sofia?” He couldn’t stop the sharp cry that comes out his lips. “C-Can you p-pick me up?”

 

 

 

 

 

“The dorm lady is gonna be so mad at me.” Sofia mutters under her breath. “You made me take an Uber all the way from university to there then to here in your apartment.” She sighs. “You literally fished out all of my money in my wallet. Thank you, by the way, my dear big brother.” Her sarcasm doesn’t have any bite in it and partly, he thinks it’s because Hansol is a sobbing mess right now.

 

It’s really embarrassing now that he thought about it because when Sofia got to him, Hansol was already sitting at the curb with knees pressed against his chest while sobbing like a kid. The Uber driver looks really puzzled but doesn’t question about this. Hansol made sure to tell Sofia to rate the man five stars.

 

“So what’s wrong now?” Sofia’s voice turned soft. “Hansol, talk to me.”

 

Hansol hiccups. His face is swollen and the back of his hand is sticky from the tears he wiped. It’s not cold out but Hansol feels like he’s freezing so he tightens the duvet around him and buries his face inside. “He doesn’t love me.”

 

At first Sofia is confused then she sighs. “Oh, Hansol.”

 

“He said, i-it was a mistake.” Hansol sniffles. “W-What we did was a mistake, Sof. He said that to me and it hurts.” He buries his face inside the duvet and sobs. His chest is clenching in the most painful way imaginable that he couldn’t properly.

 

And so he tells her of what happened from start to finish. Sofia listens and their conversation dragged on until ten in the evening. He’s sorry that his sister will probably miss class because of this but Sofia said that she’s got friends to complete her attendance for her even if she’s not there. The attendance system there is automated so it’s very convenient.

 

“Look, I love Seungkwan-oppa so much like a little sister would to a brother but don’t you think it’s time to stop pining over him?”

 

Hansol wipes his nose with a tissue. “H-Hmm?”

 

Sofia sighs and tosses a new tissue box, which he catches. “I think you should start dating again. You know, open up yourself to the possibilities of finding a new lover?” She purses her lips. “Because honestly, you look really pathetic right now. You should ask your friends for their help. Hook you up with different people. Trust me, it’ll get your mind off him for sure.”

 

“B-But I don’t want other people, Sof. I want –“

 

“But he doesn’t want you, Hansol.” Sofia scrunches her face. “And you have to learn to accept that.”

 

Hansol looks down and clenches his fists underneath the thick duvet. His chest is still clenching in pain and his heart throbs in a way that hurts him because he still kept on repeating his conversation with Seungkwan earlier over and over in his head. Does that mean all of the years he spent on waiting were all in vain? Soonyoung and Sofia might be right. Maybe… maybe it’s time.

 

Besides, being hurt is starting to feel tiring and Hansol’s exhausted.

 

It’s time to move forward.

 

 

 

 

 

But even then, Hansol still found himself waiting for _that_ call from Seungkwan.

 

He pretends not to get hurt when he got none.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not already a surprise to see Soonyoung and Seokmin at Chan’s place playing Mario Party in the younger’s good old Nintendo 64. Chan’s flat, albeit small, is a gamer’s dream. There’s two long shelves filled with games and another shelf where he puts all of his game consoles. And inside his room is a heavily packed PC with the latest hardware good for gaming. For a man corrupted by the world of programming, he sure has a lot of time to play games.

 

Too bad he can’t get himself to last in every relationship.

 

“You don’t have class today?” Hansol takes a seat next to Soonyoung. The man is 28 years old now and yet, he still has a heart of a little boy.

 

“Oh, no. It’s Saturday off and Jihoon’s working at home.” The blonde answers. “He wants me out because I might ruin his concentration. I mean, I understand, really. Couldn’t blame him if he gets distracted whenever I’m around.” He winks. Hansol grimaces and turns to Seokmin.

 

“Don’t ask me.” Seokmin grumbles. “I’m girlfriend-less and homeless.”

 

Chan slurps on his black bean noodles and while chewing, he answers. “He’s been crashing in my place for months now. I don’t really mind.” He takes a glance at Seokmin, who shouts at Soonyoung for being unfair. “What are you doing here, anyways? It’s rare for you to come here on a weekend. Normally we always meet up at Highlight.”

 

“Oh, that.” Hansol reddened. He feels a thousand times embarrassed knowing on what he’s gonna ask, but still, he went for it. “Do you guys know…?” As if adding to the pressure that he’s feeling, Seokmin turns to look at him, abandoning Soonyoung in his game. He clears his throat. “Do you know anyone… single?”

 

There was a long moment of silence before Chan breaks it with a confused, “You want us to set you up on a date?”

 

Hansol knows there’s this underlying question with Seungkwan on it but his friends doesn’t question it, wanting to respect his decision. It was inevitable after that picnic. Seokmin forms his mouth into a small o. “What do you like? A guy or girl, I think I know a few from work. It wouldn’t be too hard to persuade them. Just a flick of your picture to them, they might be down on their knees begging me for your number.”

 

“I know some people.” Chan turns to Soonyoung. “What about you, hyung?”

 

“Nope.” Soonyoung answers, popping the p. “My first relationship is Jihoon, remember? Ding, ding, ding?” He waves his controller around in emphasis. “Plus, the people at work are already married and is in a committed relationship. Unfortunate because they’re hot as fuck.”

 

“Well, Jihoon might know a few.” Seokmin said. “Hey, Chan. Remember that noona he used to date? The one with the beautiful voice and curvy hips?”

 

Soonyoung’s eyes went wide. “What the fuck?”

 

“Ah, her.” Chan points at Seokmin. “She’s that singer, right? It must have been tough seeing each other at work every day. She was really cool, too. I wonder why they broke up, though.” He frowns. “Didn’t he tell you? You two are awfully close.”

 

The blonde looks horrified. “He’s working in the same company as his ex?!”

 

Seokmin shakes his head, purposely ignoring Soonyoung. “Nope, Jihoon never told me.”

 

As much as it’s amusing to see Soonyoung suffer, Hansol waves his hands awkwardly to catch their attention. “Guys, come on. A little help here?”

 

“We were just messing with blondie over here.” Seokmin points over at Soonyoung, who’s frantically trying to reach Jihoon over his phone, completely abandoning the game. “Come on, Hansol. The moment you said you wanted us to find you someone to date, Chan and I already got a few people in mind lined up for you. All you need to do is go to the nearest store, stock up some condoms and lube, and let everything go the way it’s supposed to be.”

 

He narrows his eyes. Is it really clever to ask Seokmin and Chan, also known as the one who got left behind and the one who’s not good at relationships, handle his singleness crisis? Maybe he should have just asked Minghao or Jeonghan for help. They’re the experts. But that would make him look weird and desperate if he ever asked for their help. Jisoo might look at him judgingly and whenever the older male does that, he feels terrible.

 

“Okay…” Hansol finally answers with a smile. “I trust you, guys.”

 

\--

 

**Day 1**

 

The first one is a beautiful woman named Jeon Kara. She’s two years younger than him and she’s working as a quality control analyst at a mobile company. She’s wearing formal clothes – a blazer jacket wrapped around her slim body and high heels to boot. Hansol feels under dressed it’s embarrassing.

 

“Hi, I’m Hansol.” He said after accepting his hand.

 

The conversation dragged on and Hansol thought that wow, Seokmin might have bagged him a great person. But then the question suddenly appeared, throwing him off guard.

 

“So what’s your Dad’s job?”

 

“Uh… we own a business and he’s managing it.”

 

“A restaurant. My mother’s managing the newly opened branch at Buncheon.”

 

“Really? So like you’re rich, right?”

 

Fucking, Seokmin got him a gold-digger.

 

Hansol made sure to delete the number after they part ways.

 

**Day 2**

The next one is a guy from Thailand, five years younger than him. He insists on Hansol calling him BamBam (?) and he’s a mutual friend of Chan and Minghao. He’s great according to his friends however, he keeps on making this weird move. Hansol could only raise a brow.

 

“Uh – what are you doing?”

 

BamBam has his face pressed on his arm. “Dabbing.”

 

They were in a high class restaurant and everyone’s starting to look at them weirdly.

 

“U-Uh, Kunpimook –“

 

“BamBam.”

 

“Okay, uh… BamBam, can you please –“

 

This prompts BamBam to dab 12 consecutive times.

 

Hansol sighs.

 

**Day 3**

“You’re Park Jimin, right?”

 

Park Jimin hushes him as he takes a seat in front of Hansol on the booth hidden to the other’s view. “The last thing I want to have is a scandal.” Hansol nods, zipping his mouth in respond. He understands very seriously how celebrities have it rough with all the paps tailing them just to get dirt on them. Though, it was a miracle Jihoon helped him with this _dating_ thing. Soonyoung must have told him about everything (as expected.)

 

He thinks it might work. Park Jimin is hot and sexy and so cute and very, very nice. Like seriously the man is so soft it makes Hansol giggle randomly. But then hours passed and the people in McDonald’s are slowly decreasing. Hansol was in the middle of telling a funny story when he sees Jimin suddenly starts to sob. Is this a sign from God that he should quit it with the jokes?

 

“W-Wait, what –“

 

“H-He doesn’t want to be with me.” Park Jimin grabs a handful of fries and stuffs it in his mouth. “Hee doshent wanna –“ He hiccups. “Hee doshent.” He’s not even finished with the fries in his mouth when he takes his drink and takes a long drag.

 

Hansol takes Jimin’s coke and takes whiff. “Fuck, it’s spiked.”

 

“Nu-uh.” Jimin sniffles. “I’m sober.” He wiggles his finger. “Diminie’s soooober.”

 

Not wanting to be rude, Hansol stays as Jimin sobs, drunkenly in a family friendly restaurant talking about some Yoonnie-hyung (he’s not sure but that’s the name he keeps on sobbing) and how he doesn’t want to be with him because they’re too different. Something about status and shit.

 

Hansol could only sigh, rubbing the singer’s back in comforting circles.

 

“I feel you, bro.” He said. “I feel you.”

 

**Day 4**

Before Hansol could even say hi, the woman named, Kim Hana, smacks her lips and raised her brows. “Let’s just get this over with. Your place or mine?”

 

Hansol swallows hard but he couldn’t deny the excitement in him. It’s been so long since he’s gotten laid and the last time was really depressing to remember. So with the thought of erasing his first (and probably last) sex with Seungkwan, he lets himself be dragged to the woman’s car.

 

Everything was going great – the woman is good kisser and fuck those hands can do wonders. But then…  


“Fuck!” Hansol flinches and kicks his way further up the bed, holding his dick with both hands. “Did you just bite my dick?”

 

Hana drags her teeth from her bottom lip before making biting actions in her mouth.

 

Hansol whimpers. “M-Mommy.”

 

Seriously, what kind of women are Seokmin into?

 

\--

 

Finally, it was the last date for the week.

 

It was Friday and his workload had been so light that he mostly finds himself stuck inside his little office for majority of the hours working on his script. When it was time for his date, he left to buy for once, flowers. Something happy like tulips – a great first impression since he thinks roses are too overused anyways.

 

He lets his newly dyed gold hair fall on his forehead. He’s used to combing it up but he thinks he’s going to go for the change. He wants this date to work after all. The last thing he wanted his date to see is a man still so hung up over his best friend who’s dating someone 2x hotter, more mature and richer than he is. Hansol tries not to let the pain in his chest take over his emotions for today and smiles.

 

He’s gonna do this and if it doesn’t work, he’ll stop and just settle down. Maybe get a couple of dogs and move in somewhere that allows pets. But it seems like his date is running late so Hansol pulls out his laptop to work on his script. He’s got a good feeling in this edited version of his work and he can’t wait to show it to Jisoo.  

 

“Oh, that’s nice.” A gentle voice said behind him. “Is the theme a dystopian one?”

 

Hansol gasps in surprise. “Oh, uh…”

 

The guy gives him a half-smile. “Don’t worry. I haven’t read that much.” He offers a hand to shake. “I’m Jang Doyoon, by the way.” Hansol accepts the hand and offers a smile of his own.

 

“Choi Hansol.”

 

“I know.” He grins. “Jisoo, told me about you. Are you a scriptwriter?”

 

“Aspiring to be.” Hansol answers. “Well, hopefully I would be. You?”

 

“Novelist.” Doyoon takes a seat in front of him and untangles his red scarf from his neck. “Not that great really. You wouldn’t know me, but Jisoo’s my editor.”

 

Wait, Hansol furrows his brows. Jisoo has currently only one author that he’s holding and that’s because his books are in demand and very high in popularity. If Jisoo is his editor then that must mean – Hansol’s eyes went wide. “You’re that _Jang_ , right?”

 

Doyoon shrugs, but there’s a playful smile on his face. “Maybe.”

 

“What you said was bullshit, you do know that.” Hansol couldn’t contain the excitement in his face. “You wrote First Snow and like, it’s the best book ever this year. I read it and it was awesome. It was so tragic and yet, beautiful.” He closes his laptop. “You must be getting tons of movie deals.”

 

“Unfortunately,” Doyoon frowns. “Jisoo’s turning them all down. He said there’s no one that can quite capture the beauty of the story. The release of the movie might destroy the book.”

 

“True.” Hansol nods. “I wouldn’t want your book to be like the Percy Jackson series. I mean, Logan Lerman is hot but the movie is…”

 

“I know.” Doyoon agrees. “Rick Riordan is a talented man. It’s just a shame that they butchered it. Even Rick himself doesn’t watch the movie.”

 

There was a long moment of silence, but unlike the earlier ones, it was comfortable. Doyoon is a chill guy, whose sense of humor is very on point. He doesn’t look like the same type as Soonyoung, but he’s funny and he’s not like Seungcheol but there’s a sense of maturity in there. He’s totally the complete opposite of Seungkwan. If they were together right now, he would probably whine at Hansol that his writing is too depressing and that it should have been fluff and all that cheesy stuff. Instead of a coffee shop, they would go to his favorite ice cream parlor and try out the new flavors there. But even then, Hansol would still love his company. Hell, he always loves Seungkwan’s company.

 

Hansol clenches his hand into a fist.

 

Even until now, he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

 

He takes the tulips on the seat beside him and hands it Doyoon. “Flowers?”

 

Doyoon chuckles softly. “I’m not the flower type of guy, if you’re trying to woo me.” But he accepts, nevertheless. “I’ll let it slide for today. It’s a good thing you didn’t go for the roses.”

 

“I’m into roses, either. Though, I’ll take note of what you said.”

 

“Good. I like that.” Doyoon clicks his tongue and points at his laptop. “Do you want me to help you with that?”

 

Hansol’s eyes went wide. “Yes, please!”

 

 

 

 

 

This is the longest Hansol and Seungkwan had never talked. The longest they ever were apart. Hansol pretends it doesn’t destroy him inside each and every day waking up to an empty inbox. But still, life moves forward with or without Seungkwan. It’s not like it’s the end of the world for him (it is.)

 

But after another week of silence, Hansol finds himself surprised when he opens the door to see Seungkwan standing in front of him holding two boxes of pizzas and a balloon? “Kwan?” Hansol steps outside with a confused look on his face. “A balloon, really?”

 

Seungkwan playfully rolled his eyes. “It was free with the pizzas, okay?” He raised his brows and points an accusing finger at him. “You’re not even answering my calls. Like what the hell, Hansol? I’ve called for like a ton.”

 

“Really?” He checks his phone and remembers that ah, yes he turned his phone off. “Oh.”

 

“Ah, seriously.” Seungkwan clicks his tongue in disappointment. “I’ll let it slide just this once. So what? Are we just gonna stand here or are we going to go inside and eat this. I’m starving.” He pushed through Hansol and enters his flat without a second thought. After all, this place is like Seungkwan’s second home so it’s only explainable why he’s like that. At a normal day, it would have been fine.

 

Hansol pales. “Wait, Kwan. I –“

 

He bites his thumb nervously when he sees Seungkwan looking at Doyoon with wide and surprise eyes, as if he’s seeing an alien. Doyoon, on the other hand, looked chill and calm, smiling at Seungkwan. It doesn’t even cross his mind that he’s wearing one of Hansol’s oversized shirts while facing Hansol’s laptop, reading his revised script. Seungkwan is frozen and he keeps on opening his mouth to say something but there’s no words that came out of his mouth. Hansol is in the middle of panicking and not knowing what to do.

 

Noticing the tense atmosphere, Doyoon stands up and stretches his hand out. “I’m Doyoon. I take it you’re Seungkwan?”

 

Seungkwan accepts his hand, shaking it twice. “Yeah, that’s me.” He laughs. It wasn’t obvious but Hansol knew it was forced. Years of knowing Seungkwan got him able to know which side of Seungkwan is genuine or not. Seungkwan isn’t as transparent as him. He’s the type of guy who keeps a façade. “It’s nice to meet you, Doyoon.”

 

“Same.” The other male answers. “Hansol’s been talking so much about you. I hope we can be good friends.”

 

Seungkwan can only flash a smile and give the box to Doyoon before turning to Hansol. “I didn’t know you have someone over. I’m sorry for intruding. I think I should…” He points behind him with his thumb while stepping back. “I think I should go.”

 

Hansol didn’t get to react fast. Only when Seungkwan was out the door did he meet eyes with Doyoon. It only took one look before Hansol bolted out of his flat and ran after Seungkwan, who’s a few walk away from the elevator. He mutters a curse. “Boo Seungkwan!” Said male didn’t even turn around and continues walking. This prompted Hansol to run. “Seungkwan, wait!” When he grabs the male on his wrist, he forces him to turn around. “Seungkwan.” He pants. “Seungkwan, I –“

 

“Look, it’s okay… You don’t need to explain yourself.” Seungkwan’s eyes is glassy. “I think it’s really nice that you’re seeing someone. It’s great.” He wrings himself free but Hansol’s grip tightens. “What the fuck, Hansol? You should really go back to –“

 

“Do you really mean that?”

 

Seungkwan furrows his brows. “W-What are you –“

 

“Even after **that** night, do you really mean that?”

 

The other male forces a laugh and tries to get away but Hansol’s grip is so tight. He can feel his heart beating so loud that he literally feel every pump, every drum and it rings through his ears. “It was a mistake. It has no meaning or whatsoever. I thought we already got through this, Hansol?”

 

“Because it wasn’t for me.” Hansol shakes his head. “It was never a mistake to me.”

 

And maybe it’s at the heat of the moment or because of Hansol’s courageous stupidity that he cupped Seungkwan’s face and pulled him in for a hard and searing kiss. Seungkwan’s lips are as soft and sweet as he remembers. But the pain stinging on his cheek is very new to him.

 

There are tears rolling down his cheeks when Hansol finally registered everything around him and immediately he felt bad for what he had done. He tries to redeem himself by reaching out to him but Seungkwan flinches against his touch. Honestly, there could never be more horrible than that. But what added to the guilt was Seungkwan’s look of fear in his eyes. He expected it to be hate but not fear. Never fear.

 

“Don’t talk to me.”

 

“W-Wait, Seungkwan –“

 

“Don’t…” Seungkwan steps back. “Let’s not… Please, Hansol.”

 

When Seungkwan enters the elevator and disappears from Hansol’s sight, he allowed himself to break down.

 

 

 

 

 

**Interlude**

Seungkwan remembered the first time he met Hansol’s girlfriend. She’s really pretty and flawless and the way she laughs is very light and easy to the ears compared to the others girls that took interest to his best friend. From Seungkwan’s point of view, it’s very easy to figure out why Hansol suddenly took a liking to her in a romantic sense.

 

Just looking at her was enough reason for Seungkwan to convince himself that he wouldn’t stand a chance. That was the start of Seungkwan’s hopes crumbling. That was the start of Seungkwan telling himself that Hansol won’t look at him the same way he wants him to. He keeps telling him that until it rooted itself in his head. And with Hansol not knowing, Seungkwan made a wall between them as friends. It’s going to stay that way – nothing more and nothing less.

 

So he started meeting different people, going out on dates with people in their college whereas Hansol started seeing different girls after his break-up with his last girlfriend. But as Seungkwan finds himself waking up to different rooms with different people, it only made him want Hansol more. It terrifies him. This shouldn’t happen.

 

Hansol is straight. Seungkwan knows Hansol is straight. So when Seungkwan finds himself lying naked on the bed with Hansol sleeping beside him, he panicked and left. As he took a shower back in his apartment, Seungkwan keeps on repeating the words he told himself throughout the years.

 

_You won’t have him._

_You will never him._

_Wake up._

It was a mistake, Seungkwan had said then, because it is. Because Hansol is straight and he shouldn’t do this just because of what happened between them that night. Seungkwan doesn’t to burden him with this whole _exploration_ thing.

 

But the moment he saw Doyoon in Hansol’s apartment, he felt angry. Because if Hansol likes men, why not him? Why Doyoon? It must be a phase, Seungkwan thinks. It’s a phase born out of the night he let Hansol have sex with him. And with that thought, Seungkwan felt guiltier. When he heard Hansol implying that he likes him in a romantic sense, Seungkwan tucks in tail and runs.

 

Because he’s used to the fact that Hansol isn’t looking at his way, Seungkwan doesn’t know what to do when it finally happened to the point that Seungkwan doesn’t know what he even wanted anymore.

 

Seungcheol had been alone in his shared apartment with his boyfriends when Seungkwan knocked on his door. “Seungkwan-ah?” He furrows his brows, rubbing the sleep off his eyes as he opens the door wider. “What are you –“

 

“Hyung.”

 

Seungcheol doesn’t want anyone to call him that, but he leaves an exception to Seungkwan after seeing the male’s tears stricken face. He’s like a child asking for a hug because he fell down and his knee hurts from the fall. And Choi Seungcheol may look tough, but he’s got a soft spot for all twelve of his friends. So with a comforting smile, he opens his arms and whispers. “Come here.”

 

Seungkwan enters and wraps him in a tight embrace, immediately burying his face against the older’s chest as he sobs his heart out. Seungcheol places his hands behind Seungkwan’s back and gives him comforting rubs, hushing him and whispers soothing and comforting words to stop him from crying. What he didn’t expect was Seungkwan throwing up on his shirt and all over the floor.

 

Seungcheol sighs. “The things I do for you, kids.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, I’m sorry about that.”

 

Hansol shakes his head, sniffling. “Nah, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry you have to see that.” He wipes his face with a wet cloth. “It must have freaked you out. I should have explained everything to Seungkwan. He might have –“

 

“Yeah, you should have said we’re not dating. It would have cleared things up.” Doyoon nods. “Though because of what you did, I realized something.”

 

Hansol furrows his brows. “What?”

 

“You both are stupid.”

 

Hansol doesn’t look like he’s listening now because he’s fumbling through his phone. Doyoon raised a brow and points at him. “Yah, what are you doing?”

 

“Erasing his phone number.” Hansol looks at Doyoon. “Because he told me not to talk to him so I won’t.”

 

Doyoon releases an exasperated sigh. “You know what? Jisoo was right. You two are the stupidest people he’d ever seen. It’s so easy. You like him and it’s obvious that he likes you but no. You just have to complicate things and see other people while holding on to the fact that you will never love another person as much as you love each other. Fucking, dammit.”

 

Hansol looks up from his phone and furrows his brows. “Can you repeat what you said?”

 

“Nothing.” Doyoon smiles innocently. “I just said that you two don’t look like the kind of people that would prolong a fight.”

 

“I don’t know.” Hansol frowns, trying to cover up the tears in his eyes. “I think today might be the end of our friendship.”

 

The other male sighs and shrugs. “You never know.”

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t even a week before Hansol finds Seungkwan sitting in front of his door, his back against the wall and his legs pressed against his chest. He’s looking ahead at nowhere in particular and he looks sad. Hansol just finished work today and his energy had been drained. As much as he wants to argue with Seungkwan, he can’t – couldn’t, wouldn’t want to. It’s a fact that he hates about himself. He can get mad at anyone but he couldn’t get mad at Seungkwan.

 

So with a tired sigh, Hansol sits beside Seungkwan, folding his legs as he does. And then he whispers, “What are you doing here?”

 

Seungkwan gives him a quick glance. “You didn’t call.”

 

“You told me not to so…”

 

“Well, don’t…” Seungkwan leans his head against Hansol’s shoulder and Hansol places a hand over his cheek with his right like second nature. “You shouldn’t have listen to me. I’m awful – I’m awful at feelings. You should have done the opposite of whatever I say.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You should be.” Seungkwan exclaims, scolding Hansol. “You can’t just imply that I mean something to you more than a friend all of the sudden after turning blind to all of my advances back when we were young. There was a reason why I gave up on you, you know. You can’t just do that!”

 

“Wait, you gave up on me?” Hansol scoffs a laugh. “It’s I gave up on you. I thought I was obvious with how interested I am. Am I the type of person that would ditch Highlight especially when Soonyoung pays for all the drinks? No.” He raised his brows. “That only happens because I put you first in everything. I’m a selfish person, Seungkwan. A shame that you don’t know that after all these years of being friends.”

 

“If you gave up on me, then why do this?”

 

Hansol looks down and sighs. “I keep on failing…. to give up on you. Couldn’t find it within me to stop.”

 

“Then what about Doyoon-sshi?”

 

“We’ve had a total of three dates. He’s great but he said I’m not his type.” Hansol replied. “His types are more like Seungcheol-hyung.”

 

“Jisoo and Jeonghan won’t like it if they know.”

 

“Doyoon might kill me if he finds out. Please don’t tell.”

 

Seungkwan chuckles softly and buries half of his face on his knees, pressing them closer against his chest even more. He still has his head on Hansol’s shoulder. “Dammit, Hansol. We are so messed up. So all this time… we’re on the same page, but we’re really blind to each other’s advances that we had to make a bunch of fucked up decisions just to move on.”

 

Seungkwan keeps on rambling and Hansol eagerly listens. But as he listens, he accidentally noticed the familiar lace of the locket hanging on Seungkwan’s neck. It made his breath hitch at the thought that Seungkwan – could Seungkwan possibly be wearing that locket everywhere he goes? Seungkwan must have noticed where he’s looking at so he immediately pulled up his collar to hide it while clearing his throat. Hansol smiles.

 

There was a long moment of silence before Hansol breaks it.

 

“So where does this lead us?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was premiere night.

 

Every single one of them were invited to Hansol’s movie premiere. His script that he worked together with Jisoo was a huge success. Sure it got rejected by major film companies in Korea but Netflix got a hold of it and immediately contacted him for the details about his work. Now, he’s a producer – a scriptwriter. His fame is still blossoming and he thinks that his achievements will only begin here. The trailer alone of the movie garnered so much attention but he didn’t expect to see this many people to come.

 

His parents even came and so did Sofia and two of her college friends.

 

“Wow.” Jihoon fixes his tie and smoothens his dress shirt, smiling. “I never thought I’d say this to myself but I look really, really hot in this.” He clicks his tongue as he checks out his reflection at one of the glass walls in the theatre. “Maybe I should wear formal clothes more often.”

 

From behind him, Soonyoung surprises him with a back hug. “I know how hot you are.” He presses his lips against the smaller’s ear and grins. Jihoon blushes. “You’re my boyfriend.” 

 

Seungcheol looks really happy, holding Jisoo and Jeonghan by the waist as he ushers them towards their seat. Jun and Minghao are excitedly talking to a very confused Jo Insung, while his co-star, Gong Hyo Jin is laughing behind them. Chan continues to take selfies to different celebrities he sees inside the movie theatre while Seokmin puts his charm on and is busy chatting up with someone.

 

“Congratulations, man.” Mingyu wraps him in a tight embrace. “Hey,” He wiggles his brows. “Highlight later?”

 

Hansol throws his head back and laughs. “You know it.”

 

Wonwoo shakes his hand and pulled him in a brief hug, whispering his congratulations before letting himself be led by his husband towards their designated seat. Hansol watches the two, their hands intertwined as they make their way up. They’re really cute, he thinks. Just like any other domestic couples he sees. Hansol chuckles to himself.  It seems like yesterday that Mingyu got the perfect attendance in all frat parties back in college. Now look at him.

 

Hansol hums and looks around. Speaking of lovers, where the fuck is Seungkwan?

 

“Boo.”

 

Hansol jolts and turns around. Seungkwan looks so amazing – who was he kidding, he always looks amazing – but tonight there’s like a soft glow around Seungkwan and it made his heart drum into rapid beats. He tries to fight the smile that spreads in his face but he fails just as always. “You’re late.” He fingers the other’s bowtie and grins. “I thought I told you to come early. I wanted to walk the red carpet with you but you weren’t here so I just went at the back entrance.”

 

“Well, work’s being a bitch like always. What’s new?” Seungkwan giggles. “We can always do that next time so you need to up your game on your next project.”

 

He lets him hold their hands, their arms swaying as it does as they stare into each other’s eyes. Seungkwan is wearing that locket he gave him the night at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s wedding and instead of hiding it underneath, he’s laying it out on the open, proud and happy to claim that Hansol is his. Hansol squeezes their hands tight and opens his mouth. “Listen Seungkwan, I –“

 

“Mr. Vernon.” Their moment got interrupted when a man in his thirties tapped Hansol by the shoulder and said. “The director is looking for you. The program is about to start.”

 

“Right.” Hansol nods. “I’ll be right there.” The man said his words of affirmation before leaving in quick strides.

 

Disappointed, Hansol turns to Seungkwan apologetically but freezes when Seungkwan pulls him in a soft and chaste kiss that got his stomach flipping and heart exploding – not literally, but you get the idea. It doesn’t last long but he lingers for a bit after Hansol kisses back. When he pulls away, Seungkwan is smiling and his face is so red. Hansol blinks rapidly.

 

“I love you, too.” Then he turns him around and gives him a push. “Now go out there and make me proud.”

 

Thinking back, Hansol is used to complaining. He complains about how life isn’t treating him right or how he’s been living a stuck up life with a stuck up job around stuck up people. He complains about why his efforts are in vain that a simple _I love you_ is such a heavy task to do. And because of this, it resulted in the almost losing the love of his life to someone multiple times. He remembers being hurt over and over but he also remembers standing up over and over, not minding even if he falls again.

 

Now, standing here he thinks that all of his efforts weren’t in vain after all. Seeing his friends’ faces looking at him not with pity but now with pride and joy. And Seungkwan… Seungkwan sitting at the seat next to his designated one, waiting for him to end his speech before starting the movie. Patience and a lot of Hardwork was all it took to reach where he is. There was no such thing as giving up. Because giving up is for failures and Hansol’s proud to say that he’s not one anymore.

 

After his memorized speech, he leans over to the mic once more and beams. “I’d like to dedicate this to the person I love the most. We’re both idiots and we really don’t know what the true meaning of forever is. What I do know is that forever is a very, very long time… but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side”

 

Then he looks at the crying man from down the stage and smiles.

 

“I love you, Boo.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd


	2. Preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can he tell them that he’s in love with another person? How can he tell them that they’re in a three-way relationship without damaging his relationship with his parents?

Jisoo picks up a garlic bread and takes a small bite on his garlic bread and gives his mother a smile. Jeonghan sits beside him, his blonde locks ruffled nicely and out from his nightwear. He’s not usually like this back in their home at Seoul, but he’s in front of Jisoo’s parents so it’s only a good explanation why he’s like this. His father, or rather step-father, is still wary of him being gay, but he’s grown to accept Jeonghan in their lives.

 

It’s hot here in California, greatly contrasting how cold it is now in Seoul. He couldn’t help but wonder if Seungcheol slept well last night.

 

“So I heard about your friend Jihoon.” His mother said. “He’s getting married this June?”

 

After four years in a relationship and a year of coaxing from Soonyoung, Jihoon finally agreed to tie the knot. It was sudden because it happened in Highlight in front of everyone. Jihoon is drunk and Soonyoung is sober as fuck when he asked. They thought it was a bad idea because duh, drunk Jihoon. But the next morning, Jihoon is very much aware of what happened and he’s really serious about his answer. So with a very excited Soonyoung, the date is set and invitations were spread out.

 

“Yes, they’re getting married.” Jeonghan answers when Jisoo couldn’t. His mother immediately has this warm smile on her face whenever Jeonghan talks. He thinks it’s a part of his boyfriend’s charm to do that to the people he talks to. “It’s going to be in Hawaii.”

 

“That’s great.” Jisoo’s step-father grunts. “The beaches in Hawaii are very lovely. It would have been amazing to hold a beach wedding there.”

 

“We still have no idea what kind of wedding it’s gonna be since Jihoon’s groom-to-be has a very… unique imagination.” Jeonghan chuckles. “But we’re going to be there.” He holds Jisoo’s hand on the table. “We’re going to join Jihoon on their flight to the destination and do the fitting for the suits. I heard its custom made.”

 

“Ooh, make sure to take lots of pictures! I want to see!”

 

“Of course, Mom.” Jeonghan has started calling Jisoo’s mother “mom” when the latter insisted. She’s known Jeonghan for a long time since Jisoo started dating Jeonghan in his younger years so she grew quite fond of the man. “I’ll even do a video call before the ceremony for you to see the place. I’ll make sure to bring lots of souvenirs, too.”

 

“That would be wonderful, Han!” Jisoo’s mother giggles. “You’re such a sweetheart.” Jeonghan seems to love this and blushed at the compliment. Jisoo laughs. If only she knows how Jeonghan really is privately, they might reconsider the term “angel” to describe him. Before he can respond, however, he received a call from his phone and asked to be excused. One look from him and Jisoo knows that it’s from Seungcheol. Jisoo nods and smiles, watching him leave the dining room before paying attention back to his parents.

 

“Now, we’re on that page…” His step-father claps his hand and leans forward. “When are you and Jeonghan going to get married?”

 

Jisoo chokes on his coffee, coughing multiple times before rasping out. “Excuse me?”

 

“You’re in your thirties, a stable job and a great place back at Seoul. I think it’s the perfect time to tie the knot and settle down, don’t you think?” His step-father places a hand around his wife’s shoulder. “Or are you two still not that open to marriage. Are you going to give the same answer as last year? Because that reason is getting old, son.”

 

“Dad, come on.” Jisoo chuckles nervously. “I really do think we’re still young to get married.”

 

“That’s not true.” His mother tuts. “I heard from your Aunt that Hansol’s talking to her about wanting to marry Seungkwan in the future. They’re even planning the surprise and all so I’m thinking it’s going to be sooner as I expected.” She said. “And they just started dating a few months ago, I think.” She raised a brow. “If this is about you being gay, you do know that we don’t really mind.”  

 

Jisoo looks at his step-father in which he answers. “I’m getting the hang of it, if you’re wondering.”

 

“I understand but –“

 

“Are you having doubts with Jeonghan, then?”

 

The question caught him off-guard. Of course he loves Jeonghan. He loves him from the bottom of his heart and if it’s possible, he would love to get married to him and spend the rest of his life with him. But how can he explain to his parents that he can’t get married because the church doesn’t allow a three-way marriage. They’re very traditional and they treat their religion seriously. It caused a huge problem before when Jisoo confessed that he’s gay and in love with Jeonghan and it took five years before they accept him.

 

How can he tell them that he’s in love with another person? How can he tell them that they’re in a three-way relationship without damaging his relationship with his parents?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued in the next story :)  
> thank you for reading.


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